Hi friend! Welcome to the first ever edition of Coffee Chats! Today I’m sharing something a little different and opening up about my experience blogging so far. I’m so excited for this series that I decided to make a new category for it! And I’m SO SO SO excited you’re here!!

So let’s imagine we’re sitting at Starbucks (or a coffee shop of your choice), spending some time catching up as friends and sharing our lives with each other. That’s my hope and prayer for this post! So grab your coffee, get comfy, and keep reading for a little heart-to-heart!

What’s this about anyway?

I’m glad you asked!

So one of my goals for this year is to build new friendships and be part of a community. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to go about that in this season of life (a.k.a. the post college, 20-something, still figuring out how to adult season… anyone else?).

Blogging has been a lot of fun over the past year, since it’s allowed me to express my creativity, but it’s also been a bit of a struggle. To tell you the truth, it sometimes feels like I’m having a one-sided conversation, and I tend to wonder if anyone out there is really listening.

I mean what’s the point of having a blog if it isn’t to connect with other like-minded people and build real, genuine relationships, right?!

Real talk

Now it’s time for me to ‘fess up real quick. *I know the following thoughts are the result of someone who spends way too much time in her own head and thinks a whole heck of a lot (a little too much) about herself, so apologies in advance, but thanks for reading nonetheless!*

Don’t get me wrong- I seriously love blogging as a creative outlet and a way to share my passions with the world (or a few friends slash people who stumble upon my posts on Pinterest).

But every time I’m working on a post, there’s a struggle going on in my mind. I worry so much and I’m very hard on myself so I spend a lot of time doubting what I’m sharing, if it’s worth it, if it’s good enough, or if anyone will like it.

I know it sounds so silly!! But it’s hard not to worry what other people think when you’re putting yourself and your life out there for the world to see. It sounds pretty self-centered, to tell the truth, which is why I always fight past those feelings and share anyway. Because who knows who I might encourage and inspire that day!

But sometimes I get so bogged down in the fear and worry and self-doubt that I procrastinate on posts FOREVER and don’t post anything for long stretches of time.

Which is so lame!!

Because who cares?

NO ONE!! (Except me.)

I mean how cool is it to have a platform to share about life and God’s love and send encouragement and inspiration to whoever might need it? There’s so much possibility for impact, for doing GOOD in the world through the power of the internet and social media!

I don’t wanna fake it

But the truth is, it’s hard to share and be open online, when behind the scenes, I’m actually pretty unhappy and stuck in a lot of ways.

When I’m feeling lost or down in my personal life, it can be hard to find motivation to share something inspiring with others. My biggest fear is being seen as a fraud, and sometimes I feel like I am when my blog posts are happy but I’m not.

I know for a fact, though, that sharing the hard things, the struggles, and being vulnerable, is where you and I can start to connect and build a real life relationship! 

So friend, I’m showing up today. And I promise to show up every day, here on this blog, as a real human girl who doesn’t really know much of anything but who wants to find other real human friends and also share her crazy passions on the internet!

The truth about blogging…

Basically, here’s the cold hard truth that I’ve learned from blogging so far:

1. Having a pretty blog with pretty pictures of nice clothes and a nice house is not going to automatically give you a happy life.
2. Blogging is NOT glamorous. There is so much behind-the-scenes work that goes into taking pretty pictures… NOTHING is NOT staged, on any blog, just FYI.
3. Blogging is WAY harder than it looks. It takes forever to create a post and it’s pretty tedious to put it all together.
4. Writing blog posts and posting on Instagram doesn’t automatically create the real relationships you long for. (Hence this new series… COFFEE CHATS! Because it’s about time I get to know you too.)

So am I quitting?

Last week, I almost decided to give up on blogging. Like completely. (Haha my pathetic saga continues.) I’ve wanted to quit a few times before, because it is just SO. MUCH. MORE. WORK. than I thought, but this time it was because of the previously mentioned self-doubt.

I’ve been lacking motivation for weeks now, and I’ve been so lost in some areas of my life. And I just started thinking… “maybe I’m not meant to do this. I don’t love my life right now, so it’s not worthy of sharing. I’m not someone people can look up to. I don’t have a closet full of cute and trendy outfits to share. I’m not always confident in how I look in pictures, and I’m embarrassed to show my face without makeup…”

Not to mention, I don’t live in a pretty house that I can take pictures of all the time. (I mean yes, I live in a nice house with a loving family, but it’s MESSY and real and not Pinterest-worthy by any means!)

I just don’t feel qualified to be a blogger because I don’t have the perfect “blog-worthy” life.

But man, does it feel good to admit that and get it off my chest! As long as I’m holding that in, I worry that I’m just trying to fabricate something on this blog that isn’t real. Unless I’m showing who I really am, I’m always going to have that self-doubt. And that connection I really want with people is never going to happen.

And I want you to know the real me, and I want to know the real you too.

Can we be friends?

So I’m turning this conversation over to you now, whoever you are, reading this.

Maybe you found my blog on Pinterest, or maybe you follow me on Instagram and feel like you know me. Maybe you’re a close friend or family member whose support means everything to me. Or maybe you’re someone I’ve met in the past, or someone with mutual friends but we’ve never actually connected, someone from high school… WHOEVER you are!

If you’re looking for real relationships, someone to relate to, to encourage and be encouraged by, will you leave a comment? That way I, along with anyone else reading this, can see it! I know we can all make some new friends by letting down that barrier and sharing a little about ourselves, like a real life coffee date.

Here are some questions I have for you, yes YOU:

• What’s your name?
• Where are you from, and a what’s something you want to share about your background?
• What season of life are you in right now?
• What is currently your biggest joy in life, and what’s a struggle or something I can be praying for you?

I hope you know that your comment will encourage my heart and brighten my day so much!

If you would rather message me personally, you can totally do that too! Just go to the contact page and send me an email. Or feel free to comment on my last Instagram post or send me a direct message on IG! Either way, reach out and let’s connect! I seriously can’t wait to hear from you, and to make this year all about creating a community together.

Until our next coffee chat, friend!

Xo,

Becka 💕

P.S. – An unexpected lesson I learned from substitute teaching, and 10 things you don’t know about me.